Every now and then you see an article in the paper or online about the weird and wonderful spending habit of the US government. So I thought I’d pick my top 10 and share them with you.
1. Coming in on top is the cocaine quails! The US government via the National institutes of health awards a $181,406 to a researcher to spend on research into how cocaine enhances the sex drive of the Japanese Quail. To be honest, I don’t care, this money would probably have been better served helping get people off cocaine instead of getting horny quails on it.
2. $ 3 million spent to help fund research into video games. Apparently this was going to study emerging forms of communication in multiplayer games. Spend 5 minutes on Call of Duty multiplayer and you’ll hear all you need to. It’s just a bunch of nerds talking smack. There you go I’ve just saved you $3 million, you’re welcome.
3. NASA spends around $1 million on its Advanced Food Technology Project. What is that? Its NASA making space pizzas…Sure astronauts have to eat, but this isn’t food for the space station. Nope this is food that could one day be served on mars. Really whose idea was this? “Well guys we haven’t been to the moon since 1972 but I’ve got a great new idea, lets start getting ready for a restaurant on mars!” I thought these guys were meant to be smart?
4. $137,530 was granted to create a “recession-themed” video game entitled “Layoff’. This is arguably the worst idea ever. People play video games for fun and to escape reality not to get sacked in a virtual recession. I’d love to know what the blurb is, “Unemployed? Want to kill time? Play “Layoff”! Where you can relive losing your livelihood every day!” Genius idea.
5. The prisoners of Guantanamo Bay were lucky enough to get a $750,000 dollar new soccer field. Aren’t those the guys we see in chains? With hoods over their heads? That would be an interesting game. Also wasn’t that place meant to be closing Mr Obama? I guess not. One last thing with this one, isn’t there an obesity epidemic? Couldn’t they have bought a new playing field for the kids some where.
6. Mango’s! The US government-funded a 30 million dollar project to help promote mango growing in Pakistan. But bad news…the programme was abandoned after a year. As lovely as mango’s are couldn’t they have invested in American mango farms? Or just American farms.
7. Those guys at the NiH again, spent $442,340 to study the behavior of male prostitutes in Vietnam. Now I don’t have a big fancy research grant but I can pretty much guess that they behave like most male prostitutes. Trading sex for money, that’s kind of how the whole prostitution thing works. Now where’s my 400 grand?
8. Now this is technically 2 but I’m going to group it together and put it as one. $2.6 million to teach Chinese prostitutes to drink responsibly. I’m seeing a weird pattern with the US government and foreign prostitutes. Also $17.8 million in aid to China. Now China has the second biggest economy in the world and is the USA’s biggest foreign lender. Do you really need to be giving them aid? That could have probably paid off about 10 minutes of interest from your loan!
9. Ah finally something worthy, a museum! But maybe not, $1.8 million for the museum of neon signs in Las Vegas. How stoned do you have to be go to a museum of neon signs? Stupid again, no one wants to see where old neon signs go to die.
10. Alright last but not least $120 million to dead people. Yup the US government spends 120 million dollars on paying for the pensions of dead employees. I’d just like to know where do they sent the checks? Is there some pile of uncashed pension checks on a bunch of graves around the states? Anyway, point is this is again ridiculous.
So in just these 10 examples that adds up to $177,811,276 in just these handful of cases I’ve picked out. In my opinion all these and more are wasteful and useless expenditures. I very much doubt that US tax payers want to be funding failed mango farms in Pakistan or the development of martian pizza.
There is so much more this money could be spent on. Just to give you an example it could pay for about 889 free clinics that could serve 1,500 people a year. Or pay for 4620 students to study at Harvard for a year. I’m sure I could go on and get plenty more figures but I think you get the point. Stop funding stupid research projects and pointless endeavors and use this money for something that will have real and tangible results for the people.